
Glass ^V^^7 



Book. 



mni^ . 



THE 



BUMMER BOY 

i."SP0ONY" BIOeilAPHY. 




ii 



By "THAT BRICK 



y> 



AMEKICAlSr NE^W'S COMPAlSrY, 

No. 121 Nassau Streets ••-. •■- .' 



Entered accord 
in the Clerk 



ng to Actbf CongrcsK in tl'3 y .ailli'IM, by Vr??I.'IfL*i;i!utJGHS. Agt., 
k's Office of the. District Court of. the United States for the 

Southeru District of New Yorfe. . . . .», >•.'"• 



XASBY's Life of AN DY JOXSU.V, tS pa^es, 33 Comic Illastrntions , 10 Cents. 
Comic Lift* of JKFF nATIS. 36 pasps, 48 t'omic Pictures. 10 Coiifs, 









THE BUMMEE BOY 

A "SPOONEY" BIOGRAPHY 

Afler the manner of ." The Pioneer BorK>' '< The 
Farmer Boy," ** The Tanner Boy,» etc.. 



WARRANTED O.K. IN EVERY PARTICULAR. 



Ben BuTLKR was born in Decrfield, N. H., on the 5th day of Nov- 
ember, lbl8. Most persons meet with this experience- strll in the 
case of our hero, it had an iiiipoutant influence iipw his future'career 
and shows how natural talent will make important even so trifling an 
event as beuigborn Ben was rather a puny baby, probably thinki n- 
ifscareely worth while to be strong, as be had a big brother Ben 
was always a ^ood little boy ; he never liked to swat other litiie bovs 
over the smeller— if there was any likelihood of their hittin<r back 
and always avoided quarrels and blows. He had read that eentle 
words tU4-ii away wrath, so when naughty boys, wouldn't let Benny 




"House ivhere Benny was Born, also Shpiving his Maternal 

Ancestress in the Doonmy. 

rakf;-awaj tJi'eir: marbles or pjill- .'tlieir hair, he'd get behind bi,s bis 
brother «&fii.diK»Uer out: .'•' Yvw stnrgy old slab-sided hog, I won't play 



with you any more." 'Which sliows he was of goad principles and 
avoided evil companions. 

But this did not occur immediately after birth. It was not until his 
mamma attenipted to wean liini that he displayed chnraetcristics dis- 
tinguishing from ordinary beings. On his mamma's oifering him some 
pap she was delighted with tlie dexterity with which he seized tlio 
spoon — to feed liiniself, plie tliouglit, but she was mistaken. With all 
his baby strength he eagerly twisted it around until the silver plating 




<^^ 



Benny Butter at ScJiool. 

gave way, disclosing 'the baser metal beneath. Then with a sigh he 
cast it aside. This is an example of a desire for useful kno^\ledge 
which,all children shoidd imitate, that they may grow u^ wise and . 
good men. 

As Benny grew older he developed a great' taste for reading By 
the time he was ten years old he had read " Jack and tlie Beau Stalk" 
entirely through, as also "The Forty Tiiieves," "Cock Eobin," and 
"Brandreth's Cathartic Almanac." When ten years of age, Benny's 
mamma renmved with him and his brother to Lowelh Benny's papa 
had meantime di«l in the West Indies. ' , 

At this time Benny dev^^loped a remarkable propensity for metaHurgy, 
-especially that branch relating to silver spoons,' and by diligent research 



he pot together quite a fiue cabinet which he'arrayed neatly between 
tlie uKittresses of'iiis bed. Tills colicctioii became quite celebrated and 
was visited by numerous persons, inehiding some of the most learned in 
tlio neigborhood, anxious to sec it" they could recognize any of their 
specimens. 

Benny abont this time wished to go to West Point and learn to play 
soldier, but his mamma had^leard that the cadets there smoke sweet- 
fern cigarettes" and drank spruce beer, so was afraid to trust little 
Benny among such temptations. So she sent him to a baptist school 
in Maine, with six copies of Watts' liymns, three Pilgrim's Progresses, 
and a change of underclothing. Here ho tackled Webster's spelling 
■ book, and the primary geograpliy with that vigorous intellect for which 
lie liad already 4)ecome noted, and soon mastered the English ortho- 
j^raphy as far as "b-a,>ba — k e-r, ker — baker," and also learned that 
the world is round like a dinner plate, and that the United States is ^ 
province of the kingdom of Massachusetts. To achieve these results 
required a severe strain on his not over robust system, so he gladly 
accepted an uncle's olVer of a s.ea voyjige in a fishing-smack'. On this 
voyage he luxuria'ted on cod liver oil and became so" slick and oily as 
to be just fitted for the law, which profession ho took up in 1840. 
His first operation was to dissuade the mill girls from rebi'lliug against ' 
"thirteen hours as a day's labor; so getting all huiiky with the mill 
owners, who, of cours^^ were more likely to patronize the law than 
poor girls would be. 

Benny had now grownup to be quite a young man, so we must now 
call him Mr. Butler. He continued to be a lawyer and learned to do 
all sorts of clever little tricks whiph make the law so interesting and 
amusing to the folks who can afford to iiave lawyers and go to law. One, 
a man in Boston, of respectable connections and some wealth, being 
afllicted with a mania for stealing, was at length brought to trial on 
four indictments ; and a host of lawyers were assembled, engaged in 
the case, expecting a long and sharp contest. It was hot -summer 
weather; the judge was old and indolent; tlifi ofliicers of the court 
were weary of the session and anxious to adjourn. General Butler 
was counsel for the prisoner. It is a law in Massachusetts that the 
repi'titiou of a crime by tlie same offender, within a certain period, 
shall entiiil a severer punishment than.tiie first oflense. A third 
repetition involves more severity, and a fourtli still more. According 
to this law, the prisoner, if convicted, on all fimri ndictmellt^<, would bo 
lialtle to imprisonment in th» penitentiary for the term of sixty years. 
As the court was assembling General Butler remoiistrated with the 
counsel for the prosecution, upon the rigor of their proposed proceed- 
ings. Surely one indictment would answer the ends of justice ; why 
condemn the man to imprisonment for life for what was evidently more 
a (iiSi'ase than a crinui ? They agreed at length to quash three of the 
iwdictnients, on condition tiiat the prisoner should plead guilty to the 
oije which char^^d the theft of the greatest amount 'J'he prisoner 
was ari'aigned. 

" Are you guiltyj or not guilty 7" 



" Say guilty, sir," said General Butler, from his place in the bar, 
iu his most commanding tone. , 

The man cast a helpless, bewildered look at' his counsel, and said 
notliing. « " , 

" Say guilty, sir," repeated the General, looking into the prisoner's 
eyes. , ' ■ 

The man, without a will, was compelled to obey, by the very consti- 
tution of his infirm mind. 

" Guilty," lie faltered, and sank down into his seat, crushed with a 
sense of shame. 

" Now, gentleman," said the counsel for the prisoner, "'have I, or 
have I not, performed my part of the compact?" 

" You have." 

" Then perform yours." 

This was done. A Nol. Pros, was duly entered upon the three 
indictments. The counsel for the prosecution immediately moved for 
sentence. ' 

General Butler then'rose with the oth^r indictment in his hand, and 
pointed out a flaw in it, manifest and fatal. The error consisted in 
designating the place where the prime was committed. 

" Your honor perceives," said the general, " that this court has no 
jurisdiction in the matter. I move that the prisoner be discharged 
from custody." ^ 

Ten minutes from that time the astounded man was walking out of 
the court room free. 

Of course a sharp lawyer like this early saw the desirability of htiving 
a hand in politics, but somehow he always figures in the minority as 
though his constituents were unwilling to burden hira with the cares 
and labors of office. Finally, in 1S60 Mr. Butler was sent as a dele- 
gate to thfe democratic convention in Charleston. After this he ran 
for governor of Mass., and was almost unanimously elected — to remain 
in private life. . , ' 



BUTLER AND THE WAR. 

After long muttering; the war of secession broke upon the conijtry 
like a thundej-bolt. Butler by means probably known to himself, 
became a brigadier, perhaps no particular difficulty was experienced, 
in so doing for within a few years we believe the majority of people 
became brigadiers., according to their statements, and they- ought to 
know.^ So Butler started off with a lot of troops to go "down to 
Washington to fight for Abraham's daughter." Tears oozed from his 
eyes, trickled down his nose and dripped upon the floor, as lie pressed 
the wife of his bosom to his aforesaid bosom, while his cliildren hugged 
his legs and entreated him not to go ; or if he viust go, to leave them 
some pennies to buy candy with. 
, On Ms wav to Boston common to join his command, Gen. B. stopped 



' 8 



at a barb(^i;'s sliop. Whiki under the hands of thif? artist, one of tlie 
Btildicrs a])|ii'art'd and bc^'gcd to be excused from yoii'S to tlie wars, 
.Ba\iiiu lit' 1i:h1 h-ft a wife and three cliildren crying for iiini. 

"'• Well," said the fjcneral, "I've left a wife and four children, a;ul 
a nursemaid, a^d the eook, all crying for me; to say nothing of my 
office boy whom. I've. just walloj)ed ^o that he needn't fe(*l <oo muclx 
grieved at my leaving." And he had tiie soldier arrested as a deserter. 
Tiiere is a valuable lesson in this which the young should lay to heart. 
They will no duuht readily, see it; we haven't time to jmint it out, and 
indeed, to tell the truth, the point has sdipped'our memory. 

When iiutler and his men got as, far as Annapolis they got a big 
scare. A little boat came within hailing distance of Butler's trans- 
port steamer in the darkness of night. Each party took flie other for 
secessionists though the little boat afte-c all coutaiued a party of 
unionists. « 

While at Annapolis the general was one night at about twelve o'clock 
about to go to bed tired out by the kibocS of the day. An anxious- 
looking ne\fspaper correspondent entered his room. "General," said, 
he, " where am I to sleep to-night?" 

" Sir," said the tired conimanfler, "I have done to-day ab'out 
everything a man ever did in the world ; but 1 am not going to turn 
chambermaid, by Jove !" 

""Oh! I beg pardon," said the reporter; "of course I shotildn't 
expect a Butler to turn chamberniaid. I suppose of course you confine 
yourself to looking out for the glass and china ware and the spoons!" 

After a good deal of figurative nieasuring oft" of red tape, aud the 
exliau&tion of a good deal of 




and numerous free rides to and fro to Washington, Gen. Butler made 
a grand flank movement on Baltimore, through which it was feared 
his troops would not be permitted to pass, and amidst a violent rain 
storm, through which the gallant " Sixth " had to march Tvithout 




Butler Planting Cannon on Federal Hill. 

nmbrellas, Butler and his men gained the summit of Federal Hill, 
planted their cannon and felt that the Monumental City was their own. 

Just as tile general had turned into a mud puddle for a few hours 
Buooze with a smailer puddle for a pillow an aid-de-camp aroused hira 
with the startling intelligence that he had discovered signs of the hill 
beuig mined, and likely to blow them at any moment— to hades, as 
Mrs. Southworth calls it in her Ledger stories. But it turned out 
that the mysterious eigns were only hollows children had made in 
making sand pies, and the general returned to his virtuous, though 
sligHtly watery, couch; where he Reqiieiscatted in peace (to quote 
Horace) till morning. 

The general's stay in Baltimore was short, being recalled by Gen. 
Scott. On his return to Washington some friends gave him a serenade, 
and Gen. Scott gave him a scolding because he' had risked getting into 
a fight ! which would have been very absurd and wrong for soldiers 
to do. Ben felt so hurt at this reprimand that he went right np to his 
little bed-ro/)m and cried for half an hour and made bis dear little eyes 
all red. Why it shguld hurt hrm I can't imagine; he must huve been 
exceedingly tender, for Gen. Scott says Jie didn't even slap him with 
his open hand. . •. 

f erlinps tliough 'this was a variation of a clevef little trick he used 
to practice at school — to always yawp when scolded so the teacher 
wouldn't have the cruelty to lick one who felt his reprimand 60 



10 



BUTLER'S "CONTRABANDS." 

' Oiir Goneral next receives coniinand ()M'"'()rtress Monroe, and on 
the eveiiiii<i of the second d;iy afhn' his arrival at tlie post, the event 
oeciirrd whicli will for ever eoiiiicct The ii:iiiie of General Butler with 
(he histdi-.v of iihiilition. Colonel riiel|)V visit to Hahiptoii had thrown 
thr nliite iiilialiitaiits into siieh alarm that most of tlieni prepared for 
Jiiiilit, and many left their hom'es that night, never to see thenP again. 
In the confusion three negroes escaped, and, making their way aerosa 
the bridges, gave themselves up to a Union picket, saying that their 




"Frccdman^^ Enjoying his Liberty at Fortress Monroe. 



master, Colonel Mallory, was ahout to remove them to North Carolina 
to work npon confederate fortifications there. They were brought to 
the fortress, and the circumstances were reported to the general iu 
tlic morning. He questioned each of them separately, and the truth 
of tlieir story became manifest. He needed laborers. HeWas avMM-e 
that the rebel biitteries that were rising around him were the work 



11 

chiefly of slaves, without whose assistance they could not have been 
erected in time to give him troujale. He wished to keep these men. 
The garrison wislied them kept. The country would have deplored or 
resented the sending of them away. If they had been Colonel Mal- 
lory's horses, or Colonel Mallory's spades, or Colonel Mallory's per- 
cussion ca|)s,,«r Cohmel Mallory's spo()MS, he would have seized tliera 
and used them without hesitation. Why not property more valuable 
■for the purpose of the rebellion than any other? 

He pronounced the electric words, "These men are Contraband 
OP War ; set them at work." 

" An epigram," as Winthrop remarks, " abolished slaVery in the 
United States." The word took ; for it gave the north an excuse for 
doing' what it was longing to do. 

" Then more "contrabands" kept coming in and Butler with noble 
fdiilanthropy gave them all their freedom — so long as tliey worked on 
his fortifications, fro;n sunrise to sunset each day. He fllso had them 
instructed in the rudiments of knowledge to the extent of knowing 
"^how many beans made five." Their happiness was also looked to, 
and each night they were allowed to amuse themselves by splitting 
kindling wood, digging potatoes and hoeing cabbages in the garden 
attached to the fort. 

One day an elderly, grave church-warden looking gentleman entered 
the fort, oppressed with care and grief. He said he had come to ask 
the oflicer commanding tlie post for the return of one of his negroes — 
only one ; and jie proceeded to relate the circutnstances upon which 
he based his modest request. 

'•I have arU'ays treated my negroes kindly, I supposed they loved 
me. • 'Last Sunday, I went to church. When I returned from church, 
and eftitered into my house, I Called Mary to take oft" my coat and hang 
it up. But Mary did not come. And again I c.illed Mary in a louder 
voice, but I received no answer. Then I went futo the room to find 
Mary, but I found her not. There was no one in the room. I went 
into the kitchen. There was no one in the kitchen. I went into the 
garden. There was no one in the garden. I went to the. negro quar- 
ters. • There was no one in the negro quarters. All my -negroes had 
departed, sir, while I was at the house of God. Then I went back 
again into my house; And soon there came to me Jaines, who has 
been my body-servant for many years. And I said to James: 

" James, what has happened ?" 

"And .James said, ' AH the people have gone to the fort.' 

" ' W^liile I was gone to the house of God, James ?' 

" And Jaines said, ' Yes, master, they're all gone.' 

" And I sgi(l to Jariies, ' why didn't you go too, James ?' 

*' And James said, ' Master, I'll never leave you.' 

" ' Well James,' said I,. ' as there's nobody to cook, see if you can 
get me some cold victuals and some whisky.' 

" So James got me some cold victuals, and I ate thera with a heavy 
heart. And when I had eaten, I said to James : 

' . " ' James, it is of no use for us to stay iiere. Le't, us go to youF 
mistress.' 



12 

** His mistress, sir, bad gone away from her home, eleven miles, flee' 
ing from the dnngers of the war. 

" ' And so, James,' said I, ' harness the best horse to the cart, and 
put into the cart our best bed, and some bacon, and some corn meal, 
aiid, Jiunes, some whiskey, and we will go unto your mistress.' 

"And James did eve;i as I told him, and some few necessaries 
besides. And we started. It was a heavy. load for the horse. I 
'trudged along on foot, and James led the horse. It was late at night, 
sir, when we arrived, and I said to James: » " . 

" ' James', it's of no use to unload the cart to-night. Put the horse 
into the barn, and unload the cart in the morning.' 

" And James said, * Yes, master.' 

" I met my wife, sir p I embraced her, and went to bed ; and, not- 
withstanding my troubles, I- slept soundly. The next morning James 
WIV3 gone ! Thert I came here, and the first thing I saw when I got 
here was James peddling cabbages to your men out of that very cart." 

Our hero figured in several little battles from tiitie to time, in which 
nobody was killed, nobody wounded, but at least onebody scarred. It 
i^said by physiologists that that man who knows his danger and fears 
it is more truly brave than he who don't know it and so isn't frightened. 
As our hero was certain there was much more danger than really 
existed and feared it thoroughly, ie unquestionably deserves credit 
for great bravery. . 



Somehow thegpverninent about this time gentlyhinted that it could 
get along without him. This hint consisted in relieving him of his 
command. • 

About this time, or rather before, an incident o.ccurs showing the 
rare system upon which the Washington authorities conducted military 
operations. Had King Theodore but been blessed with such modle 
oHicials at his court how might not his war have- resulted ! ! 

liy mere accident General Butler heard olie day that his troops had 
been sent, two weeks before, from Fortress Monroe to Port Royal. 
"What!" he exclaimed,. *' have I been played with all this time?" 
He discovered, upon inquiry, that such an order had been issued. He 
procured an interview with Mr. Stanton, gave him a history of his 
proceedings, and asked an explanation of the order. Mr. Stanton 
l?new nothing about it; Mr. Cameron knew nothing about it ; General 
McClellau knew nothing abou,t it. Nevertheless, the order in question 
had really been sent. Mr. Stanton readily agreed to countermand the 
order, provided the troops had not already departed. The gei^^'ral 
hurried to the telegraph ofiice, where, under a rapid fire of messages, 
a still more wonderful fact was disclosed.' The mysterious order had. 
been received in Baltimore by one of General Dix'saids, who had put 
it into his \wi-\\tii, forgotten it, and carried it ahoutwitk hiin two xcecks ! 
From the depMis of liis pocket it was finally brougut. to light. The 
troops were still at the fortress. 



13 



TPIE CAPTUEE OF NEW OELJEANS. 

Ge^^Sler T'^^'' ""'^^ ^^' ^''''^'''y "^ W^^' '^^^ ««««? tad said to 
" Why can't New Orleans be taken '" * 

« " I^oi'f^ what a wretched land is this, 
Which yields us no supplies !" ■ 

. Meantime General Butler and the remainder of his forces were 
WiU you have a piece 
of leg, or do you prefer 
, asliee of the Mel. 




Belkaciesci the Season at Ship Isla;nd. 



14 



runninj]; on sand bars, almost upset by big waves, and meeting with 
otl*er highly romantic adventiir(!S. 'J'he men on the island were one 
day just finishing Up their sumptuous repast of mock turtle soup, 
boiled lamb and green peas, (the nioek turtles were tadpoles cauglit 
with a bent pin, and tlie lamb was the last renuiiuiiig goT<'rutnent 
brogans, with the pegs thei-eof serving as the green peas) when Butler 
at-last arrived, and chejcred the men with his presence, his " hard 
tack" and his " salt junk." . - 

Up to this time the public were entirely ignorant of the "big thing" 
on the tapis. . The veracious editor of the New York Herald, had 
deluged them e;U!h day with^ull and authentic particulars of tlie expe: 
ilifion and its ob)(;cts, but with the versatality for wliich this gcutleiuan 
is noted his account was eacli day entirely different from any ])reced-, 
ing one, and witli tlie delicate humor always found in the Herald, -IMr. 
Bennett jocosely refrained from ever hinting at the true destination of 
tlie troops. As s), premature disclosure thereof would have been 
damaging to its success, Mr. Bennett displayed a degree of patriotism 
and self-sacrifice which has seldom been met with among newspaper 
men— excepting, as in Bennett's, case they really know nothing about 
the matter 

In this enterprise General Butler had the trifling aid of some forty- 
seven vessels of war, mortar boats, &c., uiider command of a sailor 
named Farragut, still indistinctly remembered in history for having 
been up on the mast tied to the rigging and looking througli a S])y 
glass. As our duties now are to chronicle the exploits of our hero, it 
is scarcely worth'while to refer at length to the doings of this sailor 
chap. Suffice it to say that he succe'eded one dark night in running 
past the two forts which guarded the approach to the city, licked the 
confederate naval tubs, and opened the way for " Butler's capture of 




Capt Farrqgut^s Fleet — From a Great Historical Paintiiig 
. %n tlie Capitol at Washington. 

New Orleans." This is not deserving of much credit though owe of 
(jiese forts, partly completed, insufficiently manned and armed, had, 
during our'war with Eiighind, knocked Wellington's veterans into a 
cocked iiat and sent them swiveling down the river. But for Ameri- 
cans to thrash England has ceixsed .to be a noverty, and is an eveiit 
Bcarcely wortli inentifMiing. It retpiires such circumstances as the 
Chinese war, tlie seypoy rebellion, or the Abyssiij^aii war, todisp!;iy the 



15 

» ' ' 

nobility, heroism and chivalrous civilization of the Briton. The justice 
tempered with mercy — Britannia's firm but gentle rule — is best shown 
by bombarding Chinese cities, and breaking down that arrogant 
exclusiveness which prompted the celestials to refuse to buy English 
opinion to poison themselves with; in bhiwing- barbarous sepoys iVom. 
the cannon's mouth to tench them the sacrilage of raising their impious 
hands against the sovereignty of Great Britain ; and in capturing and 
sacking a city defended by spears, arrows, and a few worthless old 
muskets and cannons,. and carrying off.tke gold and- silver found in t"lie 
churches, that it might be turned to useful account in England instead 
of being wasted among a lot of savage niggers. All glory to England 
for teaching a half naked Abyssinian chief the wickedness of imprison- 
ing foreigners — especially English ones — for blackguarding him. (Of 
course Feniaus should "be arrested and hung for abusive language 
toward or about the Queen of England; .the intelligent reader will, 
of course, perceive that tlie cases are not at all similar in any respect.). 

After' six days bombardment of the forts Captain Farragut's fleet 
succeeded in running up the river after having rather a rough time of 
it. Meantime Butler was in the swamps with his men, and a portion 
of the confederate gai-rison of Fort Jackson came forth and sur- 
rendered, because they were tired of the noise, and as the Yankees 
could never take the fort otherwise, they had resol\(ed to surrender, to, 
stop the racket. So the forts surrendered. ' . ' 

On the 24th of April tlie people of New Orleans retired to their 
feather beds in implicit confidence tliat there was no danger; and the 
gentlest maiden among them dreamed not of the Yankee foe even then 
approaching. ■ . 

At half-past nine in the morning, late risers still dawdling overthejr 
coflee and Deltji, tLe belief .one of the churches,-which had been desig- 
nated as the alarm Jjell, struck the concerted signal of alarm — twelve. 




BircVs-Eye View of New Orleans.— From Harper's Weakly. 

strokes four times repeated. It was the well known summons for all 
armed bodies to assemble af> their head quarters. There was a wild 
rush to the newspaper bulletin boards. 

" It is reported that two of the enemy's gun boats have succeeded 
in passing the forts." 

This was all that came over the wires before Captain Farragut cut 
them; but it was enough to give New Orleans a dismal jiremonitiim 
of the coming catastrophe. The tro'ops flew to their respective rendez- 
vous. The city was filled with rumors. Tlie whole popiilation wns 
in the streets all day. The bulletin boards were besieged, but nothing 
could be extracted from them. There were'but twenty-eiglit hundred 
ConfeJ crate troops in the city ; and General Lovell, their commander, 



lb 



had gone down to the. forts the day before, and was now galloping 
back along tlie levee like a man riding a steeple chase. The njiliti'a, 
however, were niinieroiis; conspieiious among them the European 
Brigade, e(niiposed of French, Engliish and Spanish battalions. 

At such a time, could the Thugs be inactive? To keep them in 
check, to save the city' frinn contlagration and plunder,' tiie mayor 
called upon the European Biigade, and placed the city niider tlieir 
charge. They accepted the duty, repressed the tnuuilt, and pievented 
the desfi-uction of the town, threatened alike by frenzied women and 
spoliating rowdies. 




TheEnTQpean Brigade Txcservmg Order and Quiet. 

About twelve o'clock, the fle(>t hove in sight of assembled New Or- 
leans. The seven miles of cfeecent levee were one living /ringe of 
hunuiii beings, who Itxiked upon the coming ships with inexpressible 
sorrow, shame iTnd anger. Again the cry arose, burn the city ; a cry 
ti at might hiive been- obe^-ed but for the known presence and deter- 
mination of the European Brigade.* 

*Jame8 Parten. ■ 



17 



THE GENERAL AT NEW ORLEANS. 

. • Up the i-iver came the troops welcomed by capering darkies, who 
like the famous Uncle Edward we read of " threw dowu the shubble 




"' Dnrkey 'being Drefful Glad to see JButler. 

an' de hoe," and hbpped about as though they had a couple of yards 
of mustard plaster on each heel, drawing like blazes. " Dey so glad 
to -see Mas'r. Mas'r hab his valise toted?" 
Mrs. Butlef came up on. the transport Mississippi on May 1st, mov- 




ing day, and after fixing her toilet, putting on a slap up new bonnet to 
astonish the feminine natives, went ashore with her husband. 
• Butler's first act was to spread hi'mself in a procl^ation. As no 
ofllico was eager to print this effusion the general sent a squad of 



18 

printor-soldierfe, who entered the .office of the " True Delta," laid 
down on(^ kind of " sliooting stick" and took up anotlier, and with the' 
remark tliat they Imped they didn't intrude — which 1 he projirietors 
did not tliink I'eqiiired reply as they couldn't help themselves — printed 
the proclamation. 

Butler's next care was the commissary department, and taking; po!>- 
eession of the St. Charles lio.tel, as hisheadqjiarters. Here he enjoyed 
the. j)erusal of sundry letters •addressed to him by the admirini; public. 

" \^''e*ll get the better of you yet, old cock-eye," remarked out; pf 
his corresipondeiits. Another reijuested him to wait a month or two, 
and see wliat Yellow Jack would do for him. Another warned him 
to look o,ut for poison in his food. Both the general and Mrs. Butler 
.received many epistles, during the first few weeks, of alike highly 
leulogistic tenor. « 

Then he issued a proclamation. Then he hired a lot of starving 
citizens to sweep the streets at outrageously low wn^es and sold them 
grub at outrageously high prices. Then he issued a proclamation. 
Then lie invited some promiiu>nt citizens (of opposite political ojiinions) 
to make hiin a little testimonial of" some $:)U0,000, to "run the ma- 
chine." Then he distributed innumerable "feeds" to 'such of the 
people as had the good fortune to be born with black or yellow cuticles. 
Then he issued a proclamation. The last proclamamon Jead as fol- 

Head-Quarters, DepartmeYit of the Gnlf, New Orleans, May 15, 1862. 

" General Order No. 28 : As tlie officers and soldiers of tlie United .States liave 
been subject to repeated insults from the women (calling themselves ladies) of Nexv 
Orleans, in rpt\irn for tlve most scrupulous non-interference and courtesy on ovir part, 
it is ordered that hereafter when any female shall, by word, gesture or movement, 
jnsnlt or show contempt for any officer or soldier of the United States, .she shall be 
refjarded as a woman of the town plying her avocation. By command of 

Geo. C. Strong, A» A. G., Chief of Staff.' ' SL^jok-Genekal Butlek." 

That is, she shall be held liable, according to the law of New Orleans, 
to bo arrested, detained over night in the calaboose, brotight before a 
magistrate in the morning, and fined five dollars. 

Glorious nobility on the part of the heroic and chivalrous General. 
Women of the world shout praises to this inagnauimous " man ''! I ! 

That the general's noble qualities were fitly estimated among the 
ipeople best qualified to judge them,"the following communication to a 
Georgia ])aper, shows : ' , 

"Editor of the Eepublican: — Seeing your spirited notice in this 
morning's j)a per, of the offer of a noble Mississippian to give a reward 
of $10, 000 for the infamous Butler's head, can you not suggest, through 
your valuabje journal, the propriety of every woman in our Confed- 
eracy contributing her njite to triple the siim, for a consummation 
dear to the insulted honor of our countrywomeir, one and all. 

* Eesjtectfully, A Savannah Woman." 

Savannah, .June 10, 1862. 

A man whose; head aloi^e is valued so highly must have»been prized 
beyond all price. 

Tlien he assumed control and command of the city and set a guard to 
protect him froi« rabid secessionists. 



19 . 

« 
- Then he hung a man named Mumford for hauling down a flag, an 
innocent, unsophiscated fellow, gentle and simple as a lamb no doubt 
as it is said he was accustomed to "gamble on the green." 









'a* 



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^ 




Tlie venerable Dr. Mercer, a raan^f eighty honorable years, once the 
familiar friend and frequent host of Henry Clay, a gentleman of bound- 
less generosity and benevolence, the jjatron of all that redeemed New 
Orleans, came to head-quarters, an hour before (he execution, to ask 
for Muraford's life. 



26 



" Give mo thia man's life, general," said he, while the tears rolled 
down his cliceks. " It is'biit a scratch of your pen." 

" True," replied the general. "But a scratch of my pen could.burn 
New Orleans. 1 could as soon do the one act as tlie other." 

iStnm alter the general got a scent of some silver belonging to one of 
the'banks, but hidden for safety iu the Dutch -cousul's sale. A watch- 
ful darkey hud discovered the fact, and nrtted it down in an old bible ; 
never having perused the " Guide to Authorsliip," however, his nar- 
rative was not a model of literature, but it served the purpose But- 
ler snielt a mice,, rewarded the darkey with a ten cent scrip, and sent 
Capt. Shipley with Lieut. Kinsman with a squad of marines to secure 
thii plunder, which waS, of course, " contraband." 

Captain Shipley appeared at the Dutch consulate, communicated 




Credit at u Discount. . 

his intention to search the premises and demanded of M. Conturie the 

key of the vault. The consul refused to deliver it. 
'" Then I §ii;ill be ol)liged to force tlfedoor," said the captain. 
"With regard to that, you will do us you jilease," said Conturie, 

wlio again i)rotested against the violation of his office and flag. He 

said it would be of no use to search the office, for the key of the vault 

was upon his own person. . • 

JLieutenant Kinsman to officers: "Search this nian." 

Captain Shipley and Lieuteuaut Wl^itcomb, approached " thfs man" 

to obey the order. 



. ..■;...■ 21 • ■ 

. Lieutenant Kiusman: *' Search the fellow thoroughly. Strip him. 
Take off liis coat, hi'fe stockhigs. Search even the soles of his ^lioes." 

M. Conturie: " You call me fellow ! That word is never applied to 
a ge-ntleman, far less to a foreign consul, acting in his consular capacity, 
as I am now. I ask you to remember that you used that word." 

Licutenapt Kinsuura : "Oertainly, fellow is the name I applied to 
you. I don't care if you were the consul of Jerusaleui, I am going to 
'look into your vault." " . 

Oni>of the officers tof)k a key from the coat pocket of the consul, which 
proved not to be tlie one required. Conturie then made a slight move- 
ment, which plainly said, that the pocket to loiTk into was a certain 
one in his pantaloons. . The silent hint was taken. The key was found. 
The vault was opened ; and, lo ! a cord and a half of kegs of silver 
coin, marked '• Hope & Co.", The kegs wei;e one hundred and sixty 
in number, each containing five thpusand Mexican dollars. 

On complaining afterward to See. Seward, the lti,tter replied to Mr. 
C. in a long note which censured this proceeding, and in substance 
amounted to the statement, that only the secretary of state, acting 
under the authority of the president, has the right to put his hand 
into a .consul's pocket, and take out' a key. 

The currency of New Orleans wUs of a -slightly miscellaneous char- 
acter. Car tickets, mOk tickets, tickets for bread or beer, and all 
Rinds of things except coin. When a man found himself " busted " 
financially, and tradesmen not knowing (or too well knowing) him 
refused to credit, all he had to do was to get some. little cards printed 
with ■ ♦ 

GOOD FOE TEN CENTS ' , 

When presented in sums of one hundred dollars or over, to 
, me— if you're able to find me. 

STONEWALL JACKSON BExVUEEGAED JONES. 

— pnnted on them. He needn't even have money to pay for his print 
ing, for after the job was printed all he need do was to let the printer 
take out a few and pay himself. Printers are such da,rned fools, you 
know, its'ratlier a joke than otherwise to stick them. 

Now Ben Butler had a brother, and that brother was a great financier. 
He got lots of money printed, bought lots of cotton, sugar, and " such" 
with it, got passes' from his brother, shipped his stuff to the north, and 
— report sayeth he didn't loose much by. the operation. Envious per- 
sons said the general had. a finger in the pie, but the report originated 
in a very simple artd touching incident of brotherly affection. The 
speculating brother did occasionally call and " see " the other. What 
is more'beautiful than the sight of two brothers loving one another, 
and sharing one another's joys and sorrows — and other things too nu- 
merous to mention. . 

About this time there was an ' attempt made by some confederate 
prisoners in New Orleans, to escape to tlieir comrades outside the 
■Federal 'lines. This naturally awakened in General Butler's miud 
tears for the safety of Washiygton and- Bunker Hill monument, so he, 



22 



•with rare yjresonco of mind, locked himself up in the garret nf the St. 
Cliarlcs iiotcl, stiified the feather bed in the window, and ordered the 
arrest of tlie guilty conspirators, ai»d the seizure of all iron-clads, can- 
nons, rilles, muskets, bullets, (or spoons which could be made into 
bullets) &c., to be found secreted in th", houses of tlie eitizens;.and 
vvarni'd all persons against posting" bills inciting resistance to King 
— we should say General Butler, or the making of any mysterions 
or secret marks or ciphers on walls or fences, least these shonld 
serve as means for communicating. One zealous officer seized the 
hats of a large number of negroes, as he stated tliat an exaniiuatinn of 
their contents had shown that they were liable to go off at any 
moment. 




Mysterious Signs af Conspiracy. 

A most brilliant specimen of engineering was the General's scheme 
tOv,dig a ditch across a peninsula'of the Mississippi river, so as to turn 
the river from its old course into a new channel, away helund Vicks- 
burg ever so many mileSj and leave, that city high and dry with the 
eaiipty bed of a departed river before it. But it would seem that our 
hero was neither "born to set the Thames on fire" nor turn Ww 
Mississijjpi from its course. The Father of Waters went composedly 
on his w«y not deigning to notice the puny efforts of tlu^ sweating dirt 
])itchers, and leaving them with their ditch like^ the shipwrecked 
mariner with " v^'ater, water, everywhere, but notadi'op" in thfir 
ditch. Still it was a splendid specimen of engineering — a most sphindid 
OU'-. So Vicksbiirg continued to centred the Mississippi and the 
eoiiledei'ates continued td control Vicksburg. - • 

While everything was hunky, the, gene*'al was one morning looking 
out to sea — through a contra])iind theodolite ht^had captui'ed, niistak 
iiig it fur a spy glass, — uu the look out for the commission as com- 



23 



niander in chief, of which he was in daily expectation. Behold a sail! 
A good ship is coming up the river with the compliments of the presi- 
dent and the appointment as general-in-chief — only it ain't. On the 
contrary it brings Geu. Banks who has been appointed as his successor. - 




Butler Taking a Squint. 

So Butler having nothing else to do went home as a private citizen 
ef the United States. We must pass rapidJy over the succeeding events 
of his life. There are two j)laces to which persons are sent whoso 
companionship a community desires to be got rid of — Jail and Congress. 
C()ngress being farther away of the two, Mr. Butler's neighbors sent 
him to Congress. He bore up bravely under the misfortune and was 
cheerful — owing, perhaps, to $.5,000 a year, and the fact that at Wash- 
ington everything relating to spiritual consolation is 




On his way to Washington he stopped at Ne"w York where ho had a 
bij.,'Iily appreciative reception from the public to whom he siicccliilicd. 
Great enthusiasm was exhibited and suitable vegetable testimoniiils 
presented to him, besides numerous unhatched chickens — emblems of 



24 



purity and innocence. His well kiiQvvu modesty and diffidence led him 
to try to avoid some'of these preseiits, by dodi,'in£:, but unsuccessfully. 
Tlie most impijrtant event---to tax-payers wlio have to foot all such 
bills — during; Butler's term of office -has been the great impeachment 
tizzle, and ButU'r's efforts to squeeze a confession out of Woolley tlie 
mini who was said to have used influence witii the pocket bi)oks of 
certain senators to secure Jolinson's accpiittal. But impeachment was 
dead, aiid all efforts to resuscitate the carcases were unavailing, so' 




Butler and the Presidency.. 

trying to make Woolley talk when ho had. nothing to. sny and lyiew no- 
thing about the matter, proved useless too. After being shut up in a 
couiniittee room in the Capitol, fed on oysters, game, cham|iagiH'. and 
tlie like prison fare (at government expense^ he persisted in openilij; 
his mouth only forthe imniolatiDu of these articles, " but ilever a word 
said he," so tliey had to release him. 

It is definitely stated.tliat Mr. Butler will notaccept any nomin.''tifin 
for office in future; noteveu the presidential candidacy iu 1872. Wo 
do not think Le will. , 



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